TheLugz

Fiendin’ for Socks

ted — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 02:55:12 +0000

You just never know.

An ad I saw on Facebook.

Many parents just don’t realize that a SINGLE DIRTY SOCK can be one of many things– a meth lab, a hidden marijuana plant, or even a crack rock!

Sure it may not look like any of those things, but remember– socks are dirty, deceptive criminals that can turn on you in a second.

But on the real, there is no way a sock can be huffing paraphernalia. All I can imagine is if you soak the sock in paint thinner or something, in which case the sock would be noticeably different (it would be soaked in fucking paint thinner.) But you don’t need a sock for that; you can do it out of the container. Dirty laundry is irrelevant to huffing anything.

I can only imagine that one of drugfree.org’s teen informant has run out of ideas and is now laughing his ass off. He probably got $500 to tell them that kids somehow use socks to get high.

If I’m wrong and you find your kid getting high off socks, he probably deserves the brain damage he’ll get from huffing things. But let me know about it so I can laugh at them.

“How are you?”

ted — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 00:57:49 +0000

Wurms

ted — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 22:20:00 +0000

WURMS

WURMS.

dissonance

ted — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:01:18 +0000

A bad attempt at picking apart my brain and trying to visualize the noise in my head.

;

ted — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 07:39:18 +0000

self
de
struct

Missed a Funny Joke

ted — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 01:42:23 +0000

I was going to make an amazing joke in English class today, but I didn’t get the chance. So I’m saying it now.

So my teacher is pregnant, and she’s going away in a couple weeks to have her baby. In the time she’s gone, we’re gonna have a substitute teacher. She was saying she wanted to get in as much work as she could before she had to leave to have her baby.

“I’m just trying to squeeze everything in before I have to go,” she said.

So you’re trying to squeeze everything in before you squeeze everything out?

Trapped Dumb Girls Call for Help On Facebook

ted — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 04:15:55 +0000

Two girls somehow got stuck in a sewer tube, so they figured it would be a wonderful idea to update their facebook status about it instead of calling emergency services.

The Metropolitan Fire Service (MFS) in Adelaide says it is worrying that two girls lost in a stormwater drain raised the alert on a social networking site rather than ringing triple-0 [Australian equivalent of 911].

The 10- and 12-year-old girls updated a Facebook status to say they were lost in a drain on Honeypot Road at Hackham in Adelaide’s southern suburbs on Sunday night.

Glenn Benham from the MFS says it was fortunate a young friend was online at the time and was able to call for help for them.

“It is a worry for us because it causes a delay on us being able to rescue the girls,” he said.

[http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/09/07/2678945.htm]

Oh wow. Really?

It’s not as if they were unable to call for help. If they could access facebook, they obviously had a connection. Seriously, it’s stupid enough to get stuck in a fucking drain tube in the first place. But then calling for help on facebook? Really?

Good thing I don’t get stuck in tubes.

I would be dead. Assholes.

The Wonderful World of Cars!

Brion — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:16:34 +0000

Today my car, a fabulous red Saab, did this:

: Slightly exaggerated.

I pop the hood and my radiator fan is fully ablaze. I calmly shut the hood, walk away and go into the fetal position. The fire department got involved as did every pedestrian that passed by. But this car crisis wasn’t a total loss; as the smoke cloud got bigger, I realized something that I think the world needs to embrace: Cars are bad. Let’s do some math:

I bought this car for app. $1,500.

I fixed the radiator for app $200.

I replaced the clutch for app. $500.

I have spent app. $800 for gas (over 5 months).

This means that I have spent a total of $3,000 on this car.

I have no insurance besides collision for other vehicles.

I am selling the charred remains for $0.

You do the flipping math.

In France, however, a solution to my mathematical dilemma is already in production:

: The “car” of the future.

Its called CAT (compressed air technology), a car that runs on nothing but compressed air. Contrary to popular belief, the air tank poses no threat as far as explosions go. Sounds nuts huh? Here’s some more math (approximated):

Price to own a CAT car (estimated united states market price) – $17,000.

Price in Paris – $9,500 (confirmed in 2002).

Price to refill your air tank – $2.50.

Miles to the “tank” – 300.

Probability of catching on fire – 0.

CAT > CAR

Kanye West Interrupts Taylor Swift at MTV VMA’s

ted — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:39:05 +0000

Kanye West is a corporate low-talent disgrace to hip hop and rap. So of course he was invited to the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, and apparently he interrupted Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech.

Now it’s not like I’m surprised this happened, because Kanye is a douche bag. It just reminded me a lot of MTV and when it used to be good. I remember when I was young watching actual music videos on MTV (WHAT A CONCEPT) from real musical artists like Nine Inch Nails, The Avalanches, and Dead Kennedys. It seems now they’ve replaced all traces of actual music with plasticized Kanye West bullshit and snotnosed teens crying at their 16th birthday party because their new Corvette isn’t the right color. I don’t think anyone with a real taste for music or entertainment would disagree that MTV is made of shit now and is completely sold out.

In other news, Kanye West is a gay fish, and nobody cares about Taylor Swift.

Belkin Wireless N Router

ted — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 21:59:31 +0000

: Even the plug is wireless apparently.

So I got a Belkin Wireless N router.

Now I’m no wireless router fetishest (I swear dawg), but this is a snazzy router. It was easy to set up and secure, it’s small, it was cheap, and it works.

By the numbers:

Broadcasts up to 1200 ft.
Transfer speeds of up to 300 megabits/sec (about 37.5 megabytes/sec.) Since nobody has that rate anyways, I was like what, but it’s cool to have the power.
Supports IEEE 802.11b/g/n. It supports draft n 2.0, which is probably the highest out today.
Comes with a 1 year warranty and 24/7 tech support.
Costs $60 at Staples, lower elsewhere.
Comes with the setup cd (you actually need it this time,) quick install guide (not translated by a bilingual parrot), power supply, ethernet cable (sexy and yellow)
Supports VPN and port forwarding
Supports 256-bit WPA/WPA2 encryption (very strong.)
0% gay!!!!!!!!!!

I had to forward ports for uTorrent. That’s the only thing I’ve run into so far, but it was easy to forward the ports.

Also if you hear bad things on the internet about any wireless router manufacturer (Belkin, D-link, etc), don’t listen to it. Wireless routing is a new technology and it isn’t easy to make, let alone mass produce, and all companies are going to have problems. Don’t rage and condemn an entire manufacturer just because your MAGIC DEVICE that you know nothing about isn’t working.

If you need a wireless router, I would easily recommend this one.